When I first read the Disengaging Essay, I thought disengaging sounded crazy. If I disengaged, wouldn’t that mean I was basically giving up? Not just on my stepdaughter, but on the idea that we’d ever feel like a “real” family? Forget that. Still… constantly brainstorming ever more creative ways to connect with my stepdaughter hadn’t gotten us anywhere. If anything, our relationship was getting ... Read the Post
To the Stepmom Who’s Ashamed She Doesn’t Love her Stepkids
There’s so much pressure as a stepmom. Pressure to be a great wife, an influential parental figure, a peaceful co-parent, a perfect daughter-in-law… you get the idea. But the one expectation that sets many stepparents up to fail? To love their stepchildren like their own. For some, the love connection with their stepchildren is easy. For others, there are a plethora of reasons why it’s more ... Read the Post
Why we Hosted a Joint Birthday Party at a Hotel (Feat. Gaylord Texan)
Can I be honest and share that every year when Krista’s birthday rolls around, I get a little nervous? Should we do a joint party or separate? Will whichever choice we prefer be the same her mom prefers? Who will host? Will it be awkward? Will I feel left out? Will Krista feel like she has to pick sides? After my momentary freakout, I take a step back, take three deep breaths, and talk ... Read the Post
The Worst Mistakes a Stepmom can Make
The absolute worst mistake any stepmom can make is to simply put on a brave face and accept all that is being thrown at her, whether it is being bad-mouthed by the ex and her family or regularly disrespected by her stepchildren. The second worst mistake is not speaking up and having her feelings heard, acknowledged, and, ultimately, resolved. The third worst mistake would be not taking ... Read the Post
Experiencing an Identity Crisis as a Childless Stepmom
I had sold my home to move in with my then-fiance/now-husband and his daughter in his hometown, a town I was unfamiliar with about 30 minutes away. Logistically, it made sense for our family. Krista wouldn’t have to change schools, and it was closer to the building Kevin and I worked in. Emotionally, I was distraught. I had worked so hard to be able to purchase my first home. I decorated ... Read the Post
Surviving the Minefield of Stepparenting Teens
No stepparent wants a medal, but it’s fair to say they certainly deserve one when it comes to stepparenting teens! Parenting teenagers is full of challenges at the best of times—stepparenting teens is invariably a minefield. It doesn’t matter what your stepparenting relationship is with your stepchildren. Puberty, hormones, and highly strung emotions combined can create chaos. In my ... Read the Post