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Can a Stepmom buy a Minivan?

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My husband and I have two 4-door sedan vehicles. We also have two kids, ages 4 and 5. If we are in the car for more than 30 minutes, it’s uncomfortable… not to mention the German Shepherd puppy we just added to the family.

For years, we have talked about buying a bigger vehicle, a family car. The conversation always steers in the direction of purchasing a SUV. Why, you ask?! Because they’re “cooler.” Because they may have 4WD. Because they’re higher off the ground. Because they’re $20,000 more expensive than a minivan, and who doesn’t love a big car payment?!

But the real reason in the back of my mind why we must get a SUV instead of a van is always, “Because I can’t get a minivan… I’m not a Mom.”

Can a Stepmom buy a Minivan?

Because if I drove to work in a minivan, I would be met with blank stares by colleagues thinking, “Wait, she doesn’t have any kids…” Because if I posted a picture of our new minivan, someone would undoubtedly comment and assume it’s my husband’s, because at least he’s a “Real Dad.” Because whenever someone made a jab about my new minivan being a “Mom-Mobile,” I would feel incredibly uncomfortable, because I’m not a Mom. I would feel like a total fraud.

For those reasons, it’s official. A stepmom cannot buy a minivan. Case closed.

Wait… WHAT?!

How as a society have we let minivans be associated with “Moms Only?” Why are we comparing the type of family a person has with the type of vehicle they drive? And most importantly… why does it matter?!

As an advocate for breaking the negative stigmas associated with blended families, I was upset with myself for having these feelings of self-doubt over something so insignificant. We as a society have to do better. We have to stop categorizing things that don’t need to be categorized. Not everything fits into a box.

Additionally, we need to stand in our truth and stop caring about the opinions of others when it doesn’t matter. Who cares if someone judges me for buying a minivan?! Why should I give anyone else that type of power over me?! The power to control my happiness… that power is all mine!

So listen up… the real answer is YES. Yes, a stepmom can buy a minivan! Or a Porsche. Or a refurbished school bus. Or a MINI Cooper. It truly does not matter.

If you’re still hung up on what others think of you, check out The Trick to Tuning Out the Haters and their Negativity.

Why a Stepmom Can't Drive a Minivan | Stepmom Help | How to Stepmom | Stepmom Resources | Blended Family Dynamics | Blended Family Help | Stepmum | Resources | Stepmom Blog | Stepmomming Blog | Life After Divorce with Kids | Stepmom Coaching | Stepparenting

Now, excuse me while I go test drive the new Honda Odyssey.

PS: Just a few of my thoughts on whether or not a stepmom is a “real mom.”

2 thoughts on “Can a Stepmom buy a Minivan?”

  1. This is great! I have 3 bio kids and 2 bonus kids. I had a Tahoe that fit all of us, but it died (so sad about it still!).
    At the time, we only had my 3 kids FT bit I replaced the SUV with a minivan – it was cheaper to own, got better gas mileage. But most importantly, I wanted something that would comfortably fit all of us all the time, even though the other kids were ‘part-timers.’
    We are their family FULL TIME!
    Ended up being a very good decision – we now have 4 of the kids FT, and see the youngest much more often than we did previously.
    It has always been important to me that the PT kids have a permanent place in our home – no sleeping bags or air mattresses. They’re not guests, they’re our family.

    • This is great perspective, Emily! <3 I felt so silly feeling like a fraud considering a minivan. We still haven't made our purchase, but the van is still on the table!

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