I became a stepmother before I was 21 years old. Needless to say, my 21st birthday was not at all I imagined it would be since we had a one year old with us most of the day.
I think this is the reason when stepmomming days get hard and I turn to social media to distract me from my feelings (Not healthy, I know). I feel like I am missing out. I see girls I went to high school with at college parties or at bars while I’m home wiping someone else’s butt.
Of course, I chose this life and most days love it, but everyone has those days where you wish life was just…. different.
What Jersey Shore Taught Me About Stepmotherhood. Seriously.
Fast forward to a bachelorette party for one of my best friends at the Jersey Shore. A weekend with nine girls. I packed my bag, my cooler, my 90-something Jello shots and got in a car for 5 hours to drive to the town that was the set of the show that took over my Thursday nights as a teen.
I was ready to get rowdy.
Fun fact of this story: I was the only stepmom of the group, but there were three other women in co-parenting situations. Usually those odds are not good for stepmothers… I mean have you seen mom Facebook groups?
The first night was filled with lots of Fireball, a low cut dress, flip flops and Jersey-freaking-Shore. From what I remember and what was recorded on Snapchat, I had a wonderful time.
Contrarily, when I woke up the next morning, I was done. I wanted to go home. This maybe was because of a FaceTime phone call I had with a three year old who was crying that she missed me and wanted me to take her to the Jersey Shore… Who am I kidding? That is EXACTLY why I was done.
We walked the Boardwalk, I saw the Ferris wheel and thought “Wow, she would love that.”
I saw a T-shirt in a shop and thought “Wow, she would look so cute in this.”
I looked out at the ocean ($8.00 to walk on the beach… this Rhode Island native was NOT having it) and thought “Wow, she loves the ocean so much.”
And then that night I thought, “Wow, lets get drunk again.”
The moral of my story? When I went to the other side, the grass was greener. But what’s the point of having a lot of green grass when there isn’t a crazy three year old running around on it?
Going on this trip was a blast, being carefree for a weekend was what my soul needed, but it also proved to me that this life I have chosen is the right one for me.
Yes, I do enjoy a bar occasionally. Yes, I do enjoy getting dressed up from time to time. I also love wearing PJ’s all day, I love dance parties to Kids Bop, I love teaching a little one new things and seeing those big blue eyes light up when I walk in the room. I love being a stepmom. I love being HER stepmom.
Now when I scroll on Social Media I think “Girl, You are gonna regret that in the morning” as I stuff another piece of pizza in my mouth.
PS: Sometimes I have the same epiphany when I’m with my stepdaughter – like when we were on the Polar Express! That train ride really helped me love being a stepmom again.