For many, planning a second wedding can come with mixed emotions — especially for those who already planned a big wedding the first time around. However, finding love a second time is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated!
According to expert wedding planner Sandy Malone, it is very common for her to plan weddings for clients who have previously been married. Regarding the topic of second marriages, Malone states “divorced people don’t stay single forever, and many celebrate the launch of a second marriage with as much public enthusiasm as they planned their first.”
And we think that this enthusiasm and excitement should extend to every aspect of your wedding including your wedding vows!
In this post, we will discuss everything you need to know about writing the perfect second marriage vows.
Tips and Tricks for Writing Second Marriage Vows
If you are struggling with writer’s block or can’t figure out where to start when it comes to your wedding vows, you are not alone! Writing wedding vows that express exactly how you are feeling can be challenging for even the most experienced writers. Fortunately, these tips and tricks should help get your creative juices flowing as you take your thoughts from pen to paper.
1. Seek inspiration
One of the best ways to jump-start the process of writing your second marriage vows is to get inspired! So what are you waiting for? Turn up some classic love songs, pick up a book of love poems, and queue up your favorite romantic comedies. These sources of inspiration are guaranteed to get you in the mood to create some seriously epic wedding vows.
2. Draw from vows you love
Another wonderful way to get started on your wedding vows is to do a little bit of research into what is already out there. Check out traditional wedding vows from different cultures and religions, do some research into different styles of wedding vows, and ask friends and family what types of vows they used at their weddings. Once you’ve done some research figure out the elements you love and try to incorporate them into your own.
3. Contemplate your relationship
The most heartfelt wedding vows always include a personal element, so be sure to reflect on your relationship with your partner as you pen your vows. Referencing important moments in your relationship such as your first date, the moment you knew they were “the one,” or even your engagement will make your vows personal and unique.
4. Share your hopes and dreams for the future
Another important element of wedding vows is a look into the future. Spend some time contemplating where you want to see your relationship in five, ten, and even fifty years, and include these hopes and dreams in your writing process.
5. Embrace your experience
Getting married a second time means that you have experience with marriage, and why not use this to your advantage? Contemplate the wisdom you have gained and the lessons you have learned from previous relationships, and let this guide you as you craft your beautiful and heartfelt vows.
The Importance of Incorporating Children in your Second Marriage Vows
According to writer Rachel Grate, “A marriage isn’t just a vow to one person, it’s a vow to an entire family — future and present.”
And we couldn’t agree more!
Although this statement is true of all marriages, it often rings especially true for those with children from previous relationships who are blending two families.
When it comes to blended family weddings, it is so important to be intentional about including your (step)children in your wedding.
This could mean enlisting their help with wedding planning, giving them a role in the ceremony (the more flower girls the better, right?!), letting them invite their friends to the reception, or even incorporating them into your wedding vows. After all — you are committing to be a part of their lives as well.
A few of our favorite second marriage and blended family wedding vows
Whether you are blending families with children or it’s just the two of you starting over alone, here are a few of our favorite second marriage vows to inspire your own.
1. “(Bride/Groom), [Life/God] has given us a second chance at love. I come today to give you my heart and my hope for our future together. I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you more each day, through all the days of our lives. My love for you is endless and eternal.” (Source)
2. “Life seemed ordinary… until I met you. The hours I kept, the words I said — none of it meant anything until I encountered the brightest smile I’d ever seen. That smile was no longer only in my dreams, it was now in my line of vision. When I let go and let God, I was no longer afraid and definitely not looking back… I fell in love!
From the moment I met you, ________, I knew you were The One. The realization that God and I finally agree on something allowed me to know and to love you. Peace came not only in our own interest but in that of our children. Our family meshed so naturally, I look forward to the memories we’ll make together.
________, I vow this day that I will love and treasure you.
I will be open, understanding, and without judgment.
I promise to trust your actions and intentions and believe you will respect mine.
I vow to remain by your side in sickness and in health.
I’ll support you in richness and in lacking.
In the best and worst of times, I promise to share your joy and lend support.
I vow to be faithful and love you completely for the rest of our lives.” (Source)
3. “Love, my one and only love, I stand before you declaring my love to you in my right mind. Thank you for being my friend, my love, and my confidant. No one could ask for more. That is why I am committing to you for the rest of my life as your husband. Our children are grown and we are starting over a second time. I promise you it will be sweeter than the first time. I promise to love you, honor you, protect you, provide for you, be faithful, and support you in every way. I promise to stand by your side through sickness and health, richer or poorer, good and the bad. This I promise to you for the rest of my life.” (Source)
4. “I offer you the autumn of my life, brisk and vibrant. I promise to be a companion worthy of your precious friendship. I pledge to you compassion in good times and bad, encouragement in sickness and health. It is my intent that our life together includes our large circle of friends and loving families. While we cherish the memories of our individual pasts, we will create new experiences and memories in our new life together.” (Source)
5. “________, I promise to be a good and faithful husband/wife to you, and also a patient, loving father/mother to (children’s names), caring for them and providing for them as my own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever.”
Want to include your children? Wedding Officiant Rev. Rudy Heezen suggests incorporating a second part to these vows, to which they respond, “We do!”
“And now, (children’s names), do you promise to love and respect your parent’s new husband/wife? Do you promise to support their marriage and this new family? Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them and support them in your new life together?” (Source)
6. “As the two of us are joined on this day, we become part of each other:
your feelings become my feelings;
your sorrows become my sorrows;
your joys become my joys;
your cares become my cares,
and your children become my children.
With your help and guidance, I promise to be a true and faithful spouse/wife/husband and parent,
always there to comfort you, rejoice with you,
and endure all the complexities of life that we will face together as a family.
My love for you and your/our child/ren is pure and unshakable,
and I hereby commit myself to all of you from this day forward.” (Source)
We hope you’re inspired!
Now that you’ve got the tools to create the perfect second marriage vows, we wish you the best. Comment below if you have some tips you think would help those looking to write their own second wedding vows!
PS: Have you seen how Kristen included her stepdaughter in her blended family wedding?!