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Stepmom in the Shadows

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It’s easy to feel overlooked or underappreciated as a stepmom – to feel like a “stepmom in the shadows.” One stepmom bares her soul through the personal poem reprinted below with permission.

If you find yourself in the shadows, reach out to your husband, your girlfriends, or your sisterhood of stepmoms in our Facebook group. Find your tribe, and get the comfort, advice, or guidance you need.

You are not alone. You are loved and appreciated.

Stepmom in the Shadows

You look at the clock
It’s time again to pick up your stepchild from school
You see the excitement in your child’s face and your husband’s you can’t help but smile

You are still mom and wife, your role doesn’t change because step is added to that role for the weekend.
No you gather all your children, the one who grew under your heart and the other who grew inside your heart.

You help them dress and bathe, brush their teeth and tie their shoes.
Each one of them
No one is excluded

You think to yourself, then why am I
Why am I the outsider
Why am I constantly reminded of my role
Does the bio mom remind her new other of his role

Play nice is the instructions
It’s all a game to her is the constant reminder

Bio mom’s message comes to your phone
Respect is demanded
You think rapidly what did you do this time
A message on your stepdaughter’s award for school
That’s the issue in this week’s news
Stay tuned for next week’s issue

Again, another apology is given
You think to yourself, I helped with that spelling test
I made flash cards
I bought study books
It all goes unseen, blacked out by the shadow you are as the stepmom

You think
I dried the tears when she fell and cried
I pulled her tooth out
She came to me for advice when she couldn’t her own mom

You get angry, sad and hurt
Then your reminder is there like a billboard you pass by
“Play nice”

All the work
Never the credit
The stepmom in the shadows

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Step out of the shadow and let your light shine, mama! 

PS: For more like this, read about the invisible load the stepmom carries.

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